Neither 'incel' nor 'volcel': Relational accounts of UK women's sexual abstinence

Amidst a proliferation of popular and academic interest in the celibacy and abstinence practices of men, women's sexual abstinence has not received the same attention. This paper is one of the only papers to empirically address women's sexual abstinence, and the first in almost thirty years. I provide a context of how, in early feminist thought, women's sexual abstinence had been theorised -and practiced -as liberatory, which is frequently left out of feminist histories of sexuality. However, my findings highlight how for the women in this research, sexual abstinence was seen as a necessity borne from surviving an aggressive and violent hetero-patriarchal milieu. Understanding gender as inherently relational, I also juxtapose the women's accounts with the accounts of men who took part in my research, and discuss their very differences experiences of abstinence, including how 'control' was conceptualised, and the gendered ways in which sexual abstinence was encountered and negotiated interpersonally. I argue that the women's accounts also show us how we must problematise the distinction too easily made between 'involuntary' and 'voluntary' celibacy, and that focusing on women's accounts of their sexual abstinence starkly illuminate the workings of hetero-patriarchy in a way that must remain urgent to feminist thought.

Automated summary

This paper focuses on women's sexual abstinence and examines its connection to feminist liberation theory. The study reveals how sexual abstinence for women is often a response to the oppressive nature of the hetero-patriarchal society. Comparisons with men's experiences of abstinence highlight the gendered differences in control and negotiation. The research highlights the need to problematize the distinction between "involuntary" and "voluntary" celibacy and emphasizes the urgency of understanding the workings of hetero-patriarchy in feminist thought.